You're To Blame: A High School Bully Romance (Haven Saints High) Read online

  My skin heated to over one hundred degrees. He disappeared. My eyes slammed shut. His door slammed, and he cranked the music.

  “Hello. Earth to Chelsea. You’re staring.” Connie tugged my shirt.

  “Huh.” I peeked at her, popping out of my memory.

  “You’re staring at Tate and it’s weird. Come on.”

  Tearing my feet from the ground, I followed her toward a large group at the far table.

  “Rocco, scoot over. Make room for Chelsea.”

  His lip ticked up in the corner. “Gladly.”

  Placing my tray on the table, I sat beside him. He bit into his cheeseburger. “Welcome new girl.” Eyes around the table fell on me.

  Connie sat to my left. “Megan, Rocco, Trevor, Chelsea will hang with us.” She nodded toward Tate’s table. “The jocks and cheerleaders have outcast her. We don’t turn our backs on others.” Her eyes glanced at their laxed faces.

  “What’s new. They’re assholes.” Megan leaned in. “All the more reason to hit Tate’s annual back to school party next weekend.” She flashed a wicked grin.

  His parents went out of town every year for their anniversary. I didn’t know he threw parties while they were away.

  A smile teetered my lips. “I’m in.” I bit a French fry.

  “Yeah?” Connie smirked. “I just knew it would take more persuasion.”

  “No, I need to have a little fun.” I slurped my sweet tea.

  I glanced around the lunch room. Students eyes roved over me as they chatted and snickered. They all hated me. They didn’t even know what it was I’d done. All that mattered was Tate’s order. Or should I say him forbidding everyone to refrain from befriending me? Yet he didn’t say anything about Connie and the other band of misfits or average group.

  Peeking over Trevor’s shoulder, I glared at Brittany sliding into Tate’s lap, smothering him with kisses. Her fingers traced over his broad chest. She flashed a devilish smile and winked at me. My lips pursed together, and I shoved my palm on the sharp metal broken pipe under the table. Grabbing her up by her cute little uniform and throwing her into the wall, would sure feel good right now. I felt my lip twitch at one end.

  Connie rammed her shoulder into mine. “You’re doing it again,” she sang in a whisper.

  “Oh.” My forehead creased. Placing my hand in my lap, I squeezed my fingers into my bloody palm. The sharp pain shot through my body in waves. It was a high I chased. I peeked at the blood pooling in my palm.

  “Rocco, what’s your deal?”

  I needed to draw the attention away from my bleeding hand.

  His brown eyes darkened. “Deal? I don’t have a deal. If you call being technologically savvy than I guess I have a deal.”

  I swiped a couple of napkins off the table, pressing them into my palm.

  “Oh, nerd. Tech geek. Hacker.” My eyebrows rose and my lips quirked up.

  He shoved his black-framed glasses further up his nose. “Computer genius, outcast, new girl,” he grimaced.

  His golden curly hair and lanky frame gave off an air of innocence and possibly easily influenced. Maybe he was still figuring himself out.

  I shrugged. “Trevor, what about you?” Scooping up a spoonful of fruit salad, I shoved it into my mouth, gawking at him, waiting for his story.

  He flashed a crooked smile. “Gamer, lover of fast cars, and enjoy blowing trees from time to time.” He laughed, slapping Rocco’s hand. He tugged his red headphones around his neck. “Oh, yeah, love music.” Trevor winked, running his long fingers through his spiky brown hair.

  My eyes gravitated to the cluster of freckles on his nose. They gave him personality. He was our bad boy rebel, I suspected.

  My eyes landed on Megan. “What makes you tick?”

  “The booze in my parents liquor cabinet.”

  The group laughed.

  “No, seriously I enjoy painting. Nothing like standing in my studio splashing paint on a canvas. Loud music surrounding me. You feel…” Her eyelids closed over her blue eyes. “You feel alive.”

  I nodded. “Nothing’s better when you find that one thing that makes you come alive.”

  A genuine smile widened her lips. “You get it.”

  Before they could ask what made me tick, I turned to Connie. Her gray eyes grew in size. My dark brow arched.

  “Ugh.” Her eyes rolled in her head. “Sewing.”

  I tried keeping a straight face. Peering into the eyes around our circle, I realized it was true.

  “Like a designer?”

  Her face brightened. “Yes.”

  My arm bumped hers. “That’s fucking cool.”

  Everyone chuckled.

  “I can’t wait to see what you’ve made.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yup,” I grinned.

  “I’d like that.”

  The bell rang.

  “Come on, we better get to class.” Connie rose to her feet.

  We dumped our trays. Bursting through the lunch room doors, our laughter blended into the crowd of kids walking the halls.

  “We’ll see you later, Chelsea.” Megan’s caramel ponytail danced against her shoulders as she jogged in the opposite direction.

  I waved. “See you guys later.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Closing in on my locker, my eyes bulged. He slipped his fingers through his delicious locks. His foot and back leaned against the lockers next to mine.

  “Still drawing people in I see.”

  I ignored him.

  “You’re dripping blood from your hand all over the fucking floor.”

  He yanked my hand close. A flash of concern struck his eyes. It disappeared so quickly made me question it was ever there. His eyes darkened. “What happened?”

  Snatching my hand away, I spun the locker combination. “I accidently jammed my hand into the edge of the metal lunch counter.” I lied. It was no accident.

  The second my locker opened, he dug inside, grabbing a tissue, and pressed it into my palm. “You need to see the nurse.”

  We were so close the toes of our shoes almost touched. His cologne whipped up my nose, sparking the fluttering butterflies in my tummy.

  My fingers brushed his as I tore my hand away.

  “I’ll be fine.” I peeked up at him.

  “It wasn’t a request.” My eyes were attached to his stern gaze.

  No one would have ever guessed we were once childhood friends. The only whispers buzzing around me since I’ve returned to my hometown was that I was responsible for his twin brother's death.

  The second bell rang. “Tate, I’m going.”

  “You better or I’ll get one of your new friends to drag you.” He placed emphasis on the s.

  “I’m allowing you to be friends with those jokers. Nothing more, Chelsea.”

  My entire body vibrated. Allowing me. I read between the lines.

  “You aren’t the boss of me, Tate. I don’t answer to you. Talk to your lackies.”

  “Don’t test me, Chelsea or I’ll make an example out of Trev and Rocco.” His jaw twitched constantly and his fists clenched at his sides.

  I ignored his statement. “Where’s your glue?”

  His eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “The bimbo cheerleader.”

  He snickered. “Why? Mad you aren’t my glue, huh?”

  My smile withered. But I didn’t look away.

  “You don’t have to answer. I know you wish it could be like it was that summer at the lake. We both know that will never happen again,” he snarled.

  “You’re right, it won’t happen again. I rather gouge my eyes out than be with the football captain. You and that slut deserve each other.”

  He chuckled and stalked off down the deserted hall. “Nurse now,” he shouted, never looking back.

  Dropping my head against the locker, I slammed my good hand against the locker. Fucker! If only my body could catch up with my brain. I don’t want Tate.

  The bastard remembered our o
ne night together. Before…before my life was turned upside down.

  ∞

  Sitting in the compact office, I held my hand in my lap. My eyes darted around the sterile space.

  “Chelsea, may I see your hand?” Her soft green eyes smiled.

  I inched my hand over the edge of the table into her gloved hands.

  “I’ll speak to the lunch attendant. Work on placing cushioned bumpers under tables and on the edges of the counters.”

  Her eyes searched mine for something. Probably the truth. I had no intentions of telling her I was staring at the guy I once crushed on while he made out with the most popular girl in school. And how I’d have to walk the halls of this hell every day until the last day of school.

  “Thank you.” I winced as the alcohol pad skated over my palm.

  “Sorry. The alcohol helps keep your hand from getting infected. I’ll give you a few alcohol pads to take home. Tonight, clean the wound and re-bandage it.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll leave your mom a message, informing her of the incident.”

  My eyes widened. “No! Please.”

  Her concerned eyes scanned my face. “Is there something happening at home we should be worried about?”

  “No, nothing like that. My mother’s a surgeon.” The corners of my lips perked up.

  “She’s in surgery for long hours daily. I don’t want to worry her.”

  She exhaled. “Oh, I can understand that. How thoughtful. In that case return to me before lunch tomorrow so I can examine your hand again.”

  “Not a problem, Nurse Butler. See you tomorrow.”

  I swiped up the tardy note and darted out of her office headed to my next class.

  ~

  Sitting at the dinner table across from my brother and sister, I kept my hurt hand in my lap. I pushed my fork through my green peas on my plate.

  The cool air buzzed over my bare arms. This was the only place I didn’t wear a long sleeve shirt. Didn’t matter if the temperature was cold in the house.

  “How was your first day of school?” Mom sipped her red wine.

  I peeked at her, hesitant to answer the question. Did nurse Butler call her, anyway?

  “It was good.” I scooped a forkful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

  “Did you see Tate?” Dad smiled, sliding the knife through the medium rare steak.

  My heart thudded my rib cage.

  “Yes.”

  “Did he speak to you? Or say hi in passing?”

  I swallowed hard. How was I supposed to answer that question? I couldn’t tell my dad Tate threatened me. Forbid almost every kid in the school to speak to me except for the band of misfits.

  Choking down a mouthful of peas, I peered at him, then swallowed. “He said hello.” I lied.

  He was rude. Mean. Didn’t want me at his school. Let’s face it, might as well had been his school. The students bent to his persuasion. My stomach flipped just thinking what my second day of school would be like.

  I grinned across the table at Emma and Carson. “How was your first day of school, guys?”

  Forks raised in the air, they chimed one after the other. “Fun!”

  “We’re not in the same class,” Emma stated.

  My smile lowered. “It’s ok. You’ll make new friends.” I patted the top of her little hand.

  Her lips ticked up to one side.

  “We see each other on the playground.” Carson wrapped his arm around Emma’s neck.

  I chuckled. “That’s great.”

  My parents snickered too.

  “Dad, how’s it going calling all the shots at your new law firm, boss?”

  Carson and Emma burst into laughter. Even mom laughed.

  He scanned our faces. “Going well. You’re in a good mood this evening. Maybe this move back to Haven River was good after all.”

  He winked at mom. Her cheeks flushed. Too cute. I grinned, barely tearing my eyes away.

  “I made friends today.”

  Dad clapped his hands. The sound bounced off the walls. “Good. Invite them over for theater night.”

  I smiled. “Ok.” It was challenging not utilizing two hands at dinner. Grabbing the glass dish filled with mashed potatoes, I sat it close and scooped a huge second helping onto my plate.

  “Use two hands, Chelsea,” mom ordered.

  Shoot.

  “Are you guys attending the first football game of the season?”

  I didn’t want to mention the game and darn sure didn’t want to attend. All eyes would be on Tate, the captain of the football team. Keeping the focus off my hand was my thought process at the moment.

  “As long as I don’t have an emergency surgery,” she smirked.

  “Melissa’s excited. She wants to have a tailgate party before the game starts. I understand. She’s proud of Tate.” Mom sipped her second glass of wine.

  Yup, proud of Mr. I can do no wrong hot Tate.

  I stuffed my face with mashed potatoes to avoid commenting. Judgmental eyes would fall on me the second we strolled into the bleachers. Tate had no problem telling anyone who’d listen I was the reason his twin brother died.

  Suddenly, I lost my appetite. Staring into space, I felt the urge to cut all over my body.

  “May I be excused?”

  “Chelsea, what’s the matter?” dad asked, concern laced his voice.

  The feeling wouldn’t subside. “May I be excused please?”

  I met moms gaze. She swallowed hard. Her fingers curled into her palm. Her eyes said it all. She wanted to diagnose me on the spot.

  “You’re excused.”

  Throbs pulsed through the center of my palm. I couldn’t reveal my pain. My hurt hand flattened against my T-shirt as I rose. Darting out of the room, I rounded the corner and up the wide marble staircase.

  The second I was behind my large bedroom door, I slid to the floor. The guilt was back, and it was eating away at me. Tate’s words echoed in my head. “It’s your fault.”

  Chest heaving, my eyes clenched shut. I shouldn’t have mentioned that stupid game. How would I make it through that evening without?

  Without cutting myself. My hand wrapped around my forearm. Peeking at the faint cut lines on my arm, I salivated.

  One day after school, I stopped by the store. I bought two new razors. Today was toilsome. If it wasn’t for Connie, not sure I would have made it through the day. Injuring my palm was the first taste. My knee bounced and my eyes shot over to the nightstand. My room had been flipped and searched for razors for four years. My stupid panic attack at dinner would move that time frame up to twice a month. I hid the razors in a folded piece of paper along the wall behind the floorboards.

  My cell rang.

  I slid my cell from my back pocket and stared at the unknown number on the screen.

  Pressing the button, I held the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Hey! Girl what are you doing?”

  My brows wrinkled. “Connie?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “How did you get my number?”

  She chuckled. “Rocco. He hacked your school records for me. I hope it’s ok. I forgot to ask for your number at lunch.”

  A smile took my lips. “Yeah, yeah. It’s cool. I told my family I made friends today.”

  “Really?” I could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Yeah, they said I should invite y’all over for movie night.” My southern accent poured thick over my words.

  “That would be awesome! I’ll tell the gang. Quick question.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I saw Tate hovering over you. Did he give you flack for hanging out with us?”

  “No, he said he’s allowing me to be friends with you guys.”

  “Such a bully. Don’t mind him.”

  She intercepted my date with the razor and I was thankful.

  “Are you designing anything special?”

  She snickered. “Of course. My prom dress.”


  I burst into laughter.

  “Whatever prom dress I purchase maybe you’ll add your special touch to it.”

  “Shit, that would be cool. I’d love to. We usually hang out at Haven River pizza once a week. We eat, joke, do homework, you get it. Would you like to hang tomorrow after school?”

  My body zinged with excitement. “Yeah, sure.” I down played it.

  “Cool. See you tomorrow.”

  “Yup.” I disconnected the call.

  There was a knock at the door.

  Hopping on my bed, I tossed my cell on the nightstand. “Come in.”

  I wasn’t allowed to have any locked doors. Privileges to close my door were given once I turned sixteen.

  Mom walked across the room and sat facing me. “I wrapped up your dinner and placed it in the fridge in case you wanted it for later.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I stared at her hand resting on my knee.

  “Look at me, Chelsea.”

  I peeked into her blue eyes that mirrored mine.

  “If you don’t want to go to the football game you don’t have to.”

  I swallowed past what felt like cotton balls in my throat. “No, I’ll go. I can’t hide. It will only delay the scrutiny.”

  She pulled me into her arms. “I worry about you.”

  I clutched her tight with my good hand. “I know. I wish you didn’t have to worry.”

  She pulled back. Her hands framed my face. “You’re my baby.” Her eyes glassed over.

  A tear slid down my cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

  “You know you can call anytime. I don’t care if I’m in surgery. My nurse will put the phone up to my ear while I operate.” She stared into my eyes. “I’m serious.”

  I nodded. “I know. Thanks, Mom. Oh, Connie, my new friend called. She invited me to eat with the gang at Haven River Pizza after school tomorrow. Is it ok if I go?”

  She smirked. “Yes.”

  My cheeks rose.

  “Be sure to tell the twins, and Dad goodnight before you turn in.”